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If the teen can’t work out the problem or you suspect genuine abuse, encourage your child to end the relationship by phone, e-mail or with others present so that the abuser can’t lash out.

Teens can get defensive about unhealthy relationships, so parents should broach the subject gently, Brown says.

In my family, there’s an old saying that the teenagers will always come home safe and sound and on time from a date because they know daddy’s waiting on the front porch with a shotgun.

While meant as a joke, the story says something about parents’ age-old concerns for their teens when they begin to date.

Statewide, only 20 percent of kids ages 14 to 17 have had sex, according to the California Health Interview Survey.

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