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Obviously, I have a great deal of sympathy for this couple. My wife got “Happy Elie” back (I’m really a very nice guy when I’m not surrounded by lawyers all day).
When I quit Debevoise, some of my friends were shocked that I was ceding primary earning responsibilities to my Biglaw wife. And a live-in domestic servant, and a secretary who could run errands during business hours, and a dog (no, not me) that we love, who would have been impossible to care for when we we’re both billing 2100-plus hours a year.
But, to our credit I think, we never really let the social pressure get to us. Whatever it is that you do that makes you feel “like a man,” keep doing it, regardless of your financial situation.
I think that’s where I have some advice for the Reddit couple and other couples who are in the same situation. For some people, it is all about their bank account, and those guys can’t survive if they are not the primary earners in their families. For women, the same thing goes; they don’t have to be “unsexed” in order to make it rain. Seriously, I’ve never had any problem with my wife making a boatload of money more than me.
Well, I’ve had quite a bit of (ahem) “experience” at being the man who doesn’t make as much as his woman.