Dating stages of a guys life
This hasn't led to any conflicts yet, but I am looking for a long-term relationship and I'm wondering if this would cause issues in the future.
You would regret any thing that took you away from your life goals, including this guy and any future children you would have with him. This is less about the age gap and more about being in different stages. If this guy thinks you are going to be a part time Mom he is clueless when you are working 80-90 hours a week. You must be really smart to have graduated college at 20 and in the 2nd year of med school (or if in the direct admit program started your college at 17). You’ve only been on a few dates and already he’s talking about wanting a sibling for his daughter? I'd personally take this REALLLLLLY slow if at all.
You were probably also a bit of a nerd in High school and focused on studies as opposed to boys. Boys will come and go but once you get off the education track to have a kid, it becomes very difficult to get back on. Honestly, that doesn’t mean he’s wrong for you; maybe it would be great but he has to accept your life and focus for what it is.
I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or anecdotes about this type of situation. This is less about the age gap and more about being in different stages. You haven’t lived alone as an adult, finished Med school (or whatever goal you have for yourself), establish a career, etc. Age gap like that is no big deal but I'd be worried this guy isn't into a commitment when he divorced when his child was an infant (in less ex cheated). There are so many men out there without the baggage. Did they divorce before the child was born, or very recently?
He on the other hand has had a chance to fall in love, get married, experience having a child, bought a house, established his career or at least mid level career. I wouldn't want my daughter dating a divorced guy with a kid when she's that young and still in school. Wait until your career is established and find a successful man without the ex wife and kids. I married a med student and knew that through surgical residency that he was not going to be present. That’s baggage that might be a bit too much for someone in your stage of life. That’s all non-negotiable; you need to be with someone who understands and accepts that. What concerns me is that you have only gone out on a few dates and he's talking about wanting siblings for his child. Because getting too close too fast is a was that abusers start to get control of you.
Some couples can stay together for a long time if the man hands over his power to the woman, but neither of them will ever truly be happy and reach Blissful Love. to pay off the mortgage, raise the children, avoid the embarrassment of breaking up or getting divorced), but she won’t be blissfully in love with him.