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But on a BDSM dating site that is exactly what you do!
With it's easier than ever to have an open conversation with other people who are interested in BDSM and want to share new ideas and experiences with you. The best way to learn is to talk to other people in the community, and always get opinions from different people.
Just remember that BDSM is about consent between both parties, and there should always be respect for your opinion and thoughts.
"There's really no formula that I've encountered," says 28-year-old Andrew Reymer, a single resident of Baltimore, Maryland.
"It depends on how rapidly or slowly things progress." Joan Allen, a relationship expert, finds that baby boomers are far more likely to wait to have sex than younger daters.
Joining a community of people who will listen and share their opinions and experiences is one of the most important things when first starting out.