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She should pick up on the fact that you really a rookie at this and will go about explaining the price to you, probably with some sort of happy ending code words.

When she does, look around like you want to leave (start putting on your t-shirt for dramatic effect) and mention something about only having $20. Whore: *Random small talk you don't need to listen to* Penis: When does she touch me? You: Um…er…wow…I didn't know…wow…I only have like, $20.

As opposed to all those PUBLIC baths we're forced to take, living in Ancient Rome and all. You will be asked how long you want the massage to be, and the secret here is to be as frugal as possible.

” You end up putting the thought in the back of your brain where all unlikely sexual scenarios go—until one day…Maybe you broke up with your girlfriend, maybe you just got paid, or maybe your internet is down, but you find your mind wandering to the thought of the parlor. Button up shirts should be avoided because putting them on while you're absorbed by overwhelming guilt is difficult, and you're likely to miss a button. Sometimes you'll be asked if you have ever been to a massage parlor before, in which case you should say no and don't really know how this works.

Take off everything except your boxers and lay face-down and wait for the girl to come back. Talk about where she's from, where you're from, really anything other than her milking your cock.

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