To much dating
“We started talking about getting married, and I guess her conscience finally got the best of her.
She told me that the “small, almost totally paid off” student loan she had was actually much bigger and she hadn’t been paying on it in years, plus she had some other debt, and was basically overwhelmed by all of it and didn’t really know how to go about dealing with it, so she just kinda hid from it.” For Rochelle, the big problem wasn’t even the money itself.
About two months into seeing each other, “the other shoe dropped,” as Melissa, 34, puts it now, laughing.
(Hey, you can’t fall in love with someone you never date in the first place!
) And if the data is any indication, most people are now navigating dating with exactly this reality in mind, with increasing scrutiny with each passing generation: According to the survey, Gen Xers and Baby Boomers are more forgiving of debt in general, with Gen Y finding it least tolerable of all respondents surveyed.
A recent study laid out just how seriously most people factor in money matters when it comes to deciding whether or not someone is a viable romantic prospect, citing that 72% of people surveyed said they would have serious doubts about dating someone with significant debt.
The notion of being cutthroat about a potential partner’s financial profile, while objectively logical, might be exactly why it feels so… The way most of us grow up imagining love — the process of falling into it and then the state of existing within it — leaves us with the idea of love as something that is mostly devoid of logic.
But I made a comment about wanting to buy a house in the next few years, and he was like, ‘Oh, well I’m probably going to be renting until I die, so…’ And the sensors started going off in my head.” Why was this a red flag?